Heart of Dating has a full heart welcoming Dr. Margaret Nagib to the episode today. She is a close friend to Kait and a clinical psychologist specializing in Christian counseling, inner healing, personal and spiritual development as well as treating eating disorders, trauma, self-injury and mood disorders. She received her masters and doctorate in clinical psychology from Wheaton College in Wheaton, IL. and has also graduated from 2 years of Bethel Church’s Supernatural School of Ministry in Redding, CA. 

In addition to serving clients in her private practice in downtown Wheaton, Dr. Nagib travels around the country and internationally providing seminars for various organizations and churches. Her passion and calling is partnering with Holy Spirit to restore wholeness through a deeper relationship with God, helping each person reclaim their identity, purpose and passion. 

As an expert on emotional and spiritual wholeness, Dr. Nagib has written articles for Relevant magazine, Addiction Professional, and The American Association of Christian Counselors, She has been featured in the Wall Street Journal, Today’s Christian Woman, and on the Trinity Broadcasting Network, Fox News, and various radio programs nationwide including Dr. James Dobson’s Family Talk. . Dr. Nagib is also the author of Souls Like Stars: Renew Your Mind, Heal Your Heart, Unveil Your Shine.

What is the heartbeat behind what you do?

• Dr. Nagib says that she’s always wanted to be a counselor since she was a little girl
• Dr.Nagib changed her style from talking about God to encouraging her clients to talk to God as HE is the ultimate counselor

How do the body, soul, and spirit work together?

• You are spirit, it’s the essence of who you are, and you have a soul and a body.
• Your soul is your mind will and emotions. It’s basically your personality.
• The body is our physical beings.
• The soul tells us who we are, and our spirit is the essence of who we are before we were born.

How do we seek truth in our thought life about our identities and the situation surrounding us?

• A lot of the work Dr. Nagib does is reverse engineering thoughts. Remember they are JUST thoughts, it what we choose to do with our thoughts is what matters.
• Romans 12: 2 talks about renewing your mind. This should be a daily occurrence.
• “You are what you think”
• The goal is to live in truth and when we live in truth we are more joyful.

Rejection is a hard thing most people face. What recommendations would you give to someone who believes the lie that they are not enough simply because they were rejected?

• Rejection is a hard feeling and tough feeling, but ultimately it’s okay to feel that in the beginning.
• It’s about grieving the relationship and then coming to the realization that there is something else out for you.
• Challenge the thought “Am I rejected?”

Are feelings bad? Should we “feel the feels”?

• The way we’re designed, we can’t pick and choose emotions.If you shut off anger or sadness you actually shut off the other feelings.
• Feelings are not our enemies, they come from a thought.
• Feelings help tell us things, so we have to “feel the feel” in order to help us better understand ourselves and situation better simply by reverse engineering the original thoughts that sparked those feelings.
• Give God the lie that we shouldn’t “feel our feelings”. God created them and Jesus Himself felt feelings. They are beautiful.
• There are gifts to every feeling if we let ourselves go there.

For someone who has held in their feelings for so long, where do they begin?

• Emotions don’t just go away, they have to go somewhere.
• Don’t venture out all by yourself, seek help specifically from a counselor.
• Simply: Be in the present and ask God for help and for clarity of where you have tension you need to release.

What is a soul-tie?

• It’s based on the idea that we are body, soul, and spirit and we ARE designed to connect with others.
• We form powerful bonds in relationships, not just romantic ones.
• In dating situation, emotionally you are opening your heart and creating emotional intimacy with someone. This is why break-up and rejection can be so hard because unknowingly you’ve created a soul-tie.
• Not all soul ties are bad, but you have to become aware of them.

In the context of dating, is there any healthy emotional balance when it comes to soul ties?

• The bible says to guard your heart. Way too many times we jump into a relationship way too fast, even if there’s no sexual intimacy. 
• You need to ask yourself how much you’re going to give of yourself emotionally. 
• Sometimes spiritual intimacy is overdone in dating. 
• Be deliberate and give yourself emotional boundaries as well as physical boundaries. 
• You can actually get emotional soul ties with someone you never dated just by simply obsessing over them.

How do you break off sexual soul ties and what are the dangers of them?

• There’s a convergence between spirituality and sexuality. That’s how God created it.
• Sexual soul ties are powerful and affect you spirituality, this is why it’s powerful in a marriage and can be unhealthy outside of when.
• First you have to break off the soul tie physically and then you have to break it off spirituality and spiritual soul ties are broken in the spirit.
• Breaking off soul ties are a process. So continue to pray against them whenever you need to.
• Soul ties can also become present in regards with pornography which affects your spirit.

Can sexual soul ties become present even if there was never intercourse?

• Absolutely. A soul tie is a soul tie, regardless of how it was formed.
• Having an orgasm or simply getting physically intimate in any way can create an unhealthy soul tie in a dating couple. 

How can you hear from God to heal from soul ties?

• Let God be your healer and be open to hearing from Him.
• Remember, He is always talking to us.
• Set aside time to spend time with God.

What is you final nugget of dating advice?

• “Stay connected with yourself, know yourself, and see yourself the way God sees you”
• Let God be your wingman! When it comes to dating, discipline yourself to spend time with him and let him minister to you in your dating life. 
• Don’t do it alone! God is there right alongside of you.

Other Resources:

Find Margaret on Instagram HERE

Visit Margaret’s website HERE