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Carson and Angela Blair join Kait to talk about if it’s really possible to wait to have sex until marriage.
Intro - Who are Carson and Angela Blair?!
WHY DID YOU MAKE THE DECISION TO SAVE YOURSELF FOR MARRIAGE AND HOW DID YOU DO THAT?
HOW DID YOU TWO MEET?
HOW DID YOU MAINTAIN PURITY IN YOUR RELATIONSHIP?
YOU RECENTLY GOT ENGAGED! TELL US ABOUT YOUR PROPOSAL!
WHAT IS YOUR FINAL NUGGET OF DATING ADVICE?
Fam! We’ve got another throwback episode with the amazing Carson and Angela Blair!! Let’s jump right in!
Is it really possible to wait to have sex until marriage? We know the struggle is real! Friends, we want to encourage you to develop your own sexual ethic that is deeply rooted, free of shame, and thought through. Today our two guests, Angela Zatopek and Carson Blair, have just such an encouraging story to share with us!
Angela is a good girlfriend of Kait’s. They became instant soul sisters after meeting at an Initiative Network Retreat (shoutout to all our epic friends at Initiative!). Once Kait heard more about Angela’s story with Carson, she fell in love and knew she wanted to have them on to share everything together live!
Well today is the day! And friends, this is one of the first time Angela and Carson are sharing their story together publicly… let’s show them some major love for their courage, vulnerability, and willingness to share it with us here at HOD!
Angela Blair (formerly Zatopek) is an on air TV personality and host that has been featured on Fox Sports, NBC, CBS College Sports, Miss Texas USA, One America News, and the Christian Broadcasting Network.
Aside from working in media, Angela also founded a jewelry brand bridging the world of fashion and faith called Elevare. Part of her mission includes collaborating with bold people of faith, and designing collections to share their personal story. Her vision is to create a unique way for the millennial and older generation to learn, express, and share stories and teachings from the Bible through personal style.
Carson Blair baseball professionally for 12 years. He was drafted by the Boston Red Sox out of high school, played for Red Sox, the Oakland A’s and even the Rangers.
Carson is a huge health nut and passionate about health and wellness and is also a bonafide enneagram 5, which pairs interestingly with Angela’s enneagram 7 nature. Also in surprising news, Angela was his first girlfriend, which he explains more on today’s interview.
Kait, Angela and Carson talk today about physical boundaries in dating, abstinence, and how to develop a sexual ethic that means something to you. Angela and Carson both were able to maintain their desire to not have sex and are still honoring that now into their 30’s…
Carson grew up in a fairly conservative environment and went to a Christian school (where are all of our private Christian school kids at?!). It was there he had an older man come speak to them all about masculinity. The main idea was that masculinity didn’t equal having sex with a lot of women!! This was AMAZING, biblical teaching for Carson. He really thinks he got lucky. He was in the right place at the right time to hear biblical teaching on saving sex for marriage and because he was in a baseball locker room often, he saw what he really DIDN’T want. He really saw waiting to have sex until marraige as a challenge, and he wanted to overcome the challenge. He understood what he wanted in waiting, and that was very countercultural! He really wanted to experience as much as he could with ONE person, his WIFE, even new restaurants!
Angela is the oldest of 4 siblings and they grew up in Church. Angela’s mom had THE SEX TALK with her, but didn’t just tell her she needed to wait for marriage, but WHY she should wait (praise!!!). Her parents did SUCH a good job of teaching her, her value and worth. Angela said during the interview while answering this question, “I want to wait until I can fully trust someone with my heart, and give the full me in that way.” She prayed so specifically for her future husband. Angela even addressed that social media and the culture of it can have such a NEGATIVE impact on how we view sex.
As IRONIC as it is, Carson does NOT like social media BUT that’s where he met Angela! Carson was also always someone who wanted a girlfriend but never had one, so Angela was his FIRST EVER girlfriend! So because he had never had a girlfriend before, he wrote out his dating woes, fears, and desires (maybe we all should do this?!).
He realized he might need to expand his reach if he really wanted a girlfriend (LOL…some of you may need to take some notes, and download a dating app!!). He made an Instagram account and saw a video of Angela speaking about her faith and encouraging people to wait! After 7 days, he finally mustered up the courage to GOOGLE HOW TO WRITE A DM then wrote it out in microsoft word hahaha! He send her a message, and then she didn’t reply for a WHOLE 18 MONTHS because she never saw the message LOL!
At the time, they weren’t in the same city. After a few weeks of exchanging messages Angela was going to be in Carson’s city for work, so they ended up meeting and hitting it off! Angela ended up getting STUCK in Dallas due to a literal TORNADO and end up spending a few extra days with Carson.
On night ONE, they talked about what they wanted and the expectations they had when it came to purity. They had to set up boundaries, and once the boundaries were set up they had their guidelines to stay in. It’s SO important to be on the same page when comes to boundaries and purity. This is why it’s so important to be evenly yoked, as it speaks about in the Bible, because for Carson and Angela they were absolutely on the same page because they were evenly yoked.
So much of sexuality and boundaries is about the heart. Kait was talking with a mentor and she said this, “My life isn’t ruled by boundaries it’s ruled by LOVE. Love with God.” It’s not about legalistic boundaries, while rules and boundaries ARE important, at the CORE it’s about having a deep LOVE, HONOR, and RESPECT for God and yourself.
God is in control. He is going to do what He says he’ll do! We don’t have to take on the weight and anxiety of not being in control, that’s God’s to carry FOR US!
Carson knew for a LONG time he wanted to ask her. The problem was figuring out when to ask her DAD!!! They dated for 10 months before they got engaged! After he got her dad’s approval, the next weekend Carson asked Angela to go away for the weekend. Carson had a whole list of things he had to get done before the weekend including GETTING THE RING! He planned the WHOLE engagement and trip Friday morning before they left that night!
His buddy’s wife helped with the details for the proposal. Everything was booked by HBO! At around 3:30pm he was able to check out the helicopter pad and decided to propose up there at Sunset. It was BEAUTIFUL! Carson had Angela’s best friend come out to take some pictures and videos!
Carson’s final nugget of dating advice is to tell women to hold men to a higher standard. You’re worth SO much more than a man who doesn’t respect you. Don’t ever settle for someone who doesn’t respect you. Don’t be in a relationship, just to be in a relationship. Understand what you want!
Angela’s final nugget of dating advice is to not put so much value in a relationship/marriage. Your happiness is in your hands. Don’t put your happiness in someone else’s hands. God’s timing is PERFECT! Embrace the vallys and don’t get stuck. The hard stuff
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Kait Tomlin is a best-selling author, speaker, popular relationship coach, and the founder of Heart of Dating. She helps thousands of men and women on their journeys through the conversations on the Heart of Dating Podcast, which launched in 2018.
Through her ministry, Kait’s mission is to empower both men and women to have the courage to own their story, walk in victory, thrive with purpose, and discover clarity and vision in their life and relationships. In her new book, Thank You for Rejecting Me: Transform Pain into Purpose and Learn to Fight for Yourself, Kait vulnerably shares how she grew through her deepest, darkest rejections and offers readers the tools to heal from the past, take back their power, and walk in strength, victory, and love into their future. Kait currently lives in the Los Angeles area with her husband JJ and their pups Lovey and Teddy. She loves sunshine, walks, Jesus, and lip syncing to Celine Dion.
Angela Blair (formerly Zatopek) is an on air TV personality and host that has been featured on Fox Sports, NBC, CBS College Sports, Miss Texas USA, One America News, and the Christian Broadcasting Network.
Aside from working in media, Angela also founded a jewelry brand bridging the world of fashion and faith called Elevare. Part of her mission includes collaborating with bold people of faith, and designing collections to share their personal story. Her vision is to create a unique way for the millennial and older generation to learn, express, and share stories and teachings from the Bible through personal style.
Carson Blair baseball professionally for 12 years. He was drafted by the Boston Red Sox out of high school, played for Red Sox, the Oakland A’s and even the Rangers.
Carson is a huge health nut and passionate about health and wellness and is also a bonafide enneagram 5, which pairs interestingly with Angela’s enneagram 7 nature. Also in surprising news, Angela was his first girlfriend, which he explains more on today’s interview.
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