How do you heal and date after divorce?

How do you break free of fear after betrayal?

You guys have been asking for an episode on divorce and betrayal and we have been listening! Today we are covering this subject for the first time as we have a beautifully life giving and hope-filled conversation with a man who has been through both divorce and betrayal.

Ben Courson is the founder of Hope Generation, has a global TV and radio program, and is the best selling author of the book Optimisfits., and is a gifted and nationally renowned speaker based out ofApplegate Christian Fellowship.. Ben’s humorous, uplifting and high energy style coupled with a gift to communicate God’s heart is done in a hugely impacting way.
A few years ago Ben shared a story of heartbreak after betrayal and divorce in his life and through this experience he has helped countless people who have also been wounded by those they have loved. This personal experience has ONLY made Ben proclaim all the Louder that our GOD IS so faithful and trustworthy and IS a God of Hope. You guys can hear even MORE about this story by visiting the Hope Generation YouTube challenge or bencourson.com

Is there anything you can share about your personal experience with heartbreak?

• Heartbreak is a very difficult thing that many people have gone through.
• Ben says he doesn’t like to focus on the details of his heartbreak.
• He compares the idea of Jesus and Judas. Sometimes it’s difficult to feel betrayed by someone you’ve invested in .
• At some point in our lives, we’re going to go through the feeling of betrayal, and Jesus can sympathize with us.
• In Isaiah 61 Jesus talks about how He came to heal the brokenhearted.

How would you encourage people to be capable of trust again after undergoing a journey of betrayal?

• When someone betrays our trust, we have to remember the truth of who we are in Christ, Malachi 3:17 refers to us as Christ’s jewels. We are a chosen and need to first believe that.
• “The person who broke your heart is not your dictionary. They don’t define you.”
• Ben says that knowing God’s love has helped him to trust again.
• “When you know the love of God, that’s what sustains you during heart wrenching times”
• It’s important to remember that happiness does not come from being in a relationship.
• Enjoy your singleness! Learn to be content in your current season!
• Do things you love while healing from heartbreak to help you feel joy.

In your video talking about heartbreak you say “Instead of asking yourself ‘How can I get out of this?’ ask yourself ‘What can I get out of this?”, can you elaborate how we can learn from heartbreak?

• “Behind every exquisite thing there is a tragedy” -Oscar Wilde
• Give meaning to your suffering by learning something through it!
• You don’t have to let the struggle be meaningless, you can learn and become stronger from it!
• Ben shared some personal stories on having to deal with heavy loss and how God was there with him through every step of the way.
• “Your tears are not lost by God, they’re caught by God”, Ben talks about how our tears are some of the most beautiful prayers.
• When you give your heart to the Lord he takes care of it.

What advice can you give to people who feel ashamed of their past pain?

• God’s word was written by “black sheep”, the oppressed, and the hurt. The Bible is filled with examples of God championing those with painful pasts, those who were rejected, and those who were oppressed.
• Jesus identified and associated with the outcasts time and time again.
• You’re not alone! So many have gone through pain, and it’s nothing to be ashamed about.
• If your past pain isn't the same as someone else's, don’t put judgement on them.

How do you know you're ready to date again after a heartbreak?

• Paul said to let the peace of God rule in your heart, or in other words rule your heart.
• God’s peace guide your decision for when you’re ready to date again or not.
• Sometimes the peace of God leads us into scary situations, but God gives us the strength to go through it. So trust in Him and let Him guide you.
• Let the intimacy of God search your heart, and search His for guidance!

What is your final nugget of dating advice?

• Enjoy where you're at on your way to where you're going!
• Enjoy and be content in your current dating season by choosing joy!

Other Resources

Follow Ben on Instagram HERE

See Ben's website HERE

Get Bens' Book HERE