In today’s episode, Kait has a conversation with Lauren Scruggs Kennedy, a kind-hearted, brave, inspiring, courageous, so kind hearted, and filled with so much love and joy. She is married to Jason Kennedy, who is a host on E-News and they live in Los Angeles. Born in SoCal and raised in Dallas, TX, Lauren currently runs a lifestyle blog, has written TWO Books, Still LOLO and Your Beautiful Heart. She is also a businesswoman, and started a powder dry shampoo for all hair called STRANDED.

Lauren just has such a heart of hope and in the last few years, Lauren was inspired to start a yearly retreat for girls that have lost a limb to create a community and encourage one another on their journeys. Most recently she launched the Lauren Scruggs Kennedy Foundation, which exists to bring hope, restore dignity, and ignite faith in girls and women with limb loss by providing beautiful cosmetic coverings for prostheses.

In this conversation, Lauren shares a bit of her incredibly inspiring story, especially in regards to conquering insecurity through God’s love and welcoming vulnerability, as well as her husband’s selfless love and how that has helped her grow as a woman of God.

Prior to dating, we try to figure out who we are. What did that look like for you?

Prior to her marriage to Jason, Lauren dated a bit. Towards the end of high school and beginning of college, Lauren dated someone for around three years. Even though he loved the Lord and was a gentle and loving man, she just knew in her heart they weren’t meant to be together. So, as hard as it was to end that, she had a peace about the end of this relationship. A big part of her journey was her college experience. She transferred schools a bit and eventually landed at Dallas Baptist University. Here she did not date anyone, but then moved back to New York after school and casually started dating some people. One guy in particular, Lauren describes as, “My visual person. Like, he was so hot. This was my rebellious phase. But to others that would be so tame.”

Whilst in New York, she also dated some other men that she ultimately realized were not right for her. However, the whole process of being in New York – being away from her family and navigating such a big city, all coupled with a traumatic accident she endured during those years – really helped her figure out who she was. These experiences all helped her come to realize what beauty really means as well as where her identity truly lies.

In that time of really figuring out who you are, how did God reveal to you these realities?

In Lauren’s accident, she was hit by a plane propeller and was affected physically. She lost her left hand and left eye and also had to shave half of her head.  In many ways, her idea of what beauty truly meant was challenged. She says, “When we go through a loss personally – not necessarily losing someone, but physically or a health issue –  it feels like our idols are the things that bother us the most about it. And what bothered me the most about it was how my appearance changed. I realized that I valued that too much and had to work through my fears or assumptions that people wouldn’t think I’m beautiful. Then I had to question why I value that so much.”

She goes on to say that she had to deal with a lot of personal struggles in feeling like people would view her as inept of unable. However, through that struggle, she had a complete paradigm shift in her perception of beauty and ability.

After God helped reveal to you true beauty, what did that look like after you met a guy?

Lauren was doing physical therapy with a studio that trained a lot of major/minor league athletes, and she said that they actually helped her develop her self-confidence. She says, “They saw me, in a very raw way. But they still liked me as a person. And some even had crushes on me!” She clarifies that this wasn’t the one thing that changed her perception of herself – she developed a true sense of beauty and worth through God’s great healing power. However, this was just one of the ways that God revealed some additional healing to her. 😉

Just after she had her accident, Guliana Rancic – Jason Kennedy’s former co-host on E! – reached out to Lauren and they developed a friendship. After Lauren had started physical therapy, Guliana asked if the two could meet in person for an interview. During that time,  she happened to introduce her to Jason (matchmaker vibes, anybody?!). “It just happened so randomly,” Lauren says. Jason gave her his number after meeting her, and the two started to talk and get to know each other. Lauren says that it was oddly easier being from Dallas and him from Los Angeles because they were very intentional with their time spent together as well their vulnerability. .

When did you know that you really wanted to be with him?

She says a couple months into talking, she really knew. “You know when you’re given a kind of ‘God connection’? you can’t really explain it?”, she says. Lauren says that he understood her deeply and quickly and pursued her very well. She was a little hesitant because she didn’t know his life in person as much as she did just through long-distance. However, she says that she saw him lead Bible studies and watched his incredible friendships and his character truly shone through. Even though, logically, it didn’t really make sense to date because of their busy travel schedules, they both felt it was right to further their relationship.

So how were you able to conquer insecurities?

At this point in their relationship, Lauren says that Jason still hadn’t seen her without her prosthesis on, which was sacred and intimate for her. About 6 months into their relationship, Jason asked her if he could see her arm. “I was sweating,” Lauren laughs, as this was incredibly intimate for her. She tells such a beautiful story about this moment between her and Jason. The way he affirmed her and created such a safe and secure place showed his ultimate love and care for her and wiped away any fears she previously had about letting him into these precious areas.

*BRB, we’re not crying, you’re crying.*

When you’re vulnerable with someone, it creates a safe place for that person to want to be vulnerable with you, too. Lauren says that whenever she opened up about a struggle or insecurity, Jason wanted to open up as well. “The anticipation we have before sharing is the scariest. Then, when you do it, it turns out so differently than you could imagine in a positive way.”

It can be hard to figure out who is right for us. What were some key signs to look for in searching for a partner?

One of the biggest things Lauren says that impressed her (other than his clearly kind, gentle, and loving heart), was his communication and ability to handle conflict. She says that he is in many ways simple when it comes to relationships and life experiences. Additionally, Lauren says that his pursuit of her was so attractive. “He took care of me in a manly way,” she says, “he made me feel like a woman. But especially with my arm, he was so caring and intentional enough to ask questions. He is so gentle, but strong.”

Being long distance, too, Lauren says that she never questioned trusting him. “Being in the entertainment industry, he’s around women a lot of the time, but I never doubted trusting him. He could clearly communicate his feelings, and I constantly knew what he was feeling.” Not having to question intentions or thoughts is a VERY healthy quality in relationships. Additionally, she says that his prayerful heart also attracted her to him.

How has being in the public eye affected you two whilst dating?

Lauren says it’s a big responsibility to have a bigger reach on social media, so they’re very thoughtful on what they post and how they represent marriage. But when they were dating, she says it was a positive for them, even though it has really changed over time. Additionally, it is so much easier to compare relationships and marriages to each other now, thanks to social media. However, they have grown to recognize that they are their own unit, and comparing to others only hinders development and happiness.

Lauren also says that she and Jason both had a happily shocking revelation when realizing that we’re not married in heaven. This lead them to understand that marriage’s purpose TRULY is just to grow closer to God and bring others to God as well! “I feel like [understanding that] takes away the tiny things that bother you – like trying to win an argument. If we view relationships like that, it changes everything.” We need to try to steward this gift well!

Last nugget of dating advice?

Lauren has two things:

1. Have SO much fun together and be intentional with your time.
2. Validating each other’s feelings is SO important and remove your pride and humbling yourself to apologize quickly. At the end of the day, we are in relationships like this to love each other and learn, and conflict can be a great way to do that.

Other Resources

Find her on insta: @laurenscruggs, @thelskfoundation ,@thestrandedshop

Blog: laurenscruggskennedy.com

Books: Still Lolo, Your Beautiful heartDry Shampoo: Stranded