• Affection = greek word for DEBT 
• OBLIGATED to give KINDNESS 
• If you ever have to use this verse to convince your wife to sex you are probably not leading.
• This marriage and instruction is founded on EPHESIANS 5. Husbands are loving their wives and wives are respecting their husbands (AKA she aint feeling it, I am going to respect her). And you are loving your wife as Christ loved the Church (AKA died for them). 

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• Before 1 Corinthians 7:5, he established one thing, sexless outside of marriage? Great thing. Sexless inside of marriage? It’s not good!
• If you do abstain do not deprive except with CONSENT! 
• Symphonos - greek word for consent. It is the base word for symphony. Symphony is a harmonious union of multiple parties and factors. They are absolutely, crystal clear, on the same page.
• It’s a totally, mutually agreed upon set TIME to be deprived.In order to go fast and pray (AKA pursue the reason of abstinence is deep diving, healing, intentional). 

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• Paul says this, we have to address it, it’s clear, don’t withhold to get a point across. There are better ways.
• As men here, we should not pout, throw a tantrum, blame, substitute with porn or masturbation, emotionall withdraw and disconnect, have an affair, or divorce in response. We are to live above reproach. 
• Instead get on the symphony, the same page.. Get to the ROOOOOT!
• Could literally be a hormonal change, could be mental health, depression, a sexual wound of the past,  or an unfilled, emotional need that you are not fulfilling.
• How would you feel if sex was only for her? And you never got anything out of it? 

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• Asking the question, “How can i love my wife the way christ loved the church? What are the affections due to her? What do you need from me to feel safe? Cherished? Loved?”
• Evaluate yourself first, the husband must fulfill his to duty his wife. 
• Fulfill here = an imperative command in the greek.
• Duty = obligation or a debt to fulfill to meet your wife’s sexual need first. 
• Am I making sex about me or is her pleasure the highest priority in my life??? 
• Again.. If it only one-sided, why would they want to participate?? Would that be fun for you?? 
• Non-sexual touch and non-sexual needs. This is the best way to give, no-strings-attached sex. 

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