Waiting Well

with

Kait Warman & JJ Tomlin

Kait & JJ talk about how to wait well, how we need to shift our mindset, phrases we need to remove, and how to thrive in singleness.

Skip Ahead

In This Episode

Waiting Introduction

Mindset Shift 1

Mindset Shift 2

Psalm 37:4

Phrases We Need To Remove

How to be in a Season of Singleness and Truly Thrive

Waiting Introduction

This concept of waiting is tough.. Because the first thing is that it assumes that we are in a holding pattern to get to another place in our life…. Another destination.

Are you striving to get someone? Do you feel yourself on a hamster wheel?

Mindset Shift 1

“I NEED THIS TO BE HAPPY”
Dating because YOU HAVE TO get to that next place. LIke you won’t survive another year single YOU MUST FIND SOMEONE.
Are you still a FUN person to be around or are you always frustrated?
You can sit there and LOATHE dating and HATE men… OR… You can live a life of abundance and LIFE free of worry about your dating future.
The PROBLEM with this mindset is that your JOY , CONTENTMENT and BEING is DEPENDENT on the SUCCESS of DATING… woof, this is one of the WORST places you could ever depend on!
Who’s timeline are you living in? Yours or God’s?

Mindset Shift 2

I am dating because I DO want to get married, BUT I am released of expectations. I will not let it derail me from what God is ALREADY up to in my full, thriving life living for God. I will not let it CONSUME me. I will not FORCE it to happen.

Psalm 37:4

We cherry pick verses in the bible.
SO we decide OKAY I am going to be obedient, I am going to delight in you, I am going to ABSTAIN from sex … in the hopes that God will then give us OUR PERSON… aka that desire of our heart
It’s like we bargain “I will do all these things for you God… IF you give me THIS”
What does it mean to have the desires of our heart given to us?
SHIFT-If you DELIGHT in the Lord, your desires should be GODLY desires. It doesn’t still mean we have fleshly desires- NOW those are not necessarily bad…But MARRIAGE is still a desire of the earthly kingdom NOT the heavenly kingdom.
Spiritual desires are to honor God, to find CONTENTMENT in Him no matter what. to DELIGHT in Him, to DO whatever HE wants. So when we submit our fleshly desires to our SPIRITUAL desires, it changes EVERYTHING.

SEE this is a CONDITIONAL PROMISE
You can’t DELIGHT in a God that you are not sure is 10000% for you
We are standing on a VERY firm foundation of ACCEPTANCE which is EVERYTHING that has been done on our behalf
Delighting ourselves in the LORD consumes us so MUCH that is actually SHAPES THE DESIRES OF OUR HEART, it CONFORMS to HIS WILL

The disciples would ask Jesus for ALL sorts of things- He will say YES to everything that is in LINE with his will.
If you are single, Jesus has not YET said yes to this desire - well what is GOD’s desire for me in this moment?
THE MOST IMPORTANT people in the bible- MANY of them got NO’S.
Getting a NO doesn’t mean God doesn’t care about your fleshly desire, it’s that RIGHT NOW he has something BETTER for you.

Phrases We Need To Remove

“I am just WAITING to find the one”
“If that is your desire GOD will provide it”
“You deserve THIS”

What do we actually deserve? What have we done to deserve anything?
What does scripture say? Isaiah 53
The desire is still GOOD, but you not getting that right now is God saying a NO for now.
I think this has been MISCOMMUNICATED to us.

“I deserve THIS”

that is PRIDE…. VERSUS having CONFIDENCE in Christ in WHO we are. Honoring yourself is also HONORING GOD.

How to be in a Season of Singleness and Truly Thrive

What is your legacy of singlehood going to be?
Shift your mindset and pursue HUMILITY
GRIEVE - God wants to GRIEVE with you.
FIND YOUR GODLY PASSION/ PURPOSE - What are you doing to make disciples of nations?

Kait Warman

Kait Warman is a best-selling author, speaker, popular relationship coach, and the founder of Heart of Dating. She helps thousands of men and women on their journeys through the conversations on the Heart of Dating Podcast, which launched in 2018.

Through her ministry, Kait’s mission is to empower both men and women to have the courage to own their story, walk in victory, thrive with purpose, and discover clarity and vision in their life and relationships. In her new book, Thank You for Rejecting Me: Transform Pain into Purpose and Learn to Fight for Yourself, Kait vulnerably shares how she grew through her deepest, darkest rejections and offers readers the tools to heal from the past, take back their power, and walk in strength, victory, and love into their future. Kait currently lives in the Los Angeles area and loves sunshine, walks, Jesus, and lip syncing to Celine Dion.

JJ Tomlin

JJ Tomlin is a missionary kid born in Belgium, originally from Tennessee, and currently residing in the OC. He currently works in Gaming/E-Commerce, enjoys watching his Tennessee Titans on Sundays with his Goldendoodle Teddy and loves working with Christian men to raise the bar in singleness and dating.

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Waiting Well

with

Kait Warman & JJ Tomlin

Skip Ahead

In This Episode

Waiting Introduction

Mindset Shift 1

Mindset Shift 2

Psalm 37:4

Phrases We Need To Remove

How to be in a Season of Singleness and Truly Thrive

Kait Warman

JJ Tomlin

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Never Miss an Episode

Let’s clear through the dating fog together.

Meet us on the Gram!

The heart behind HOD

Find practical advice

The School of Dating

join our email list

next episode

Never miss an episode

Waiting Well

with

Kait Warman & JJ Tomlin

Skip Ahead

In This Episode

Waiting Introduction

Mindset Shift 1

Mindset Shift 2

Psalm 37:4

Phrases We Need To Remove

How to be in a Season of Singleness and Truly Thrive

Kait Warman

JJ Tomlin

Share this episode

Binge More Episodes

HOD SELECT: Long Distance Dating, Discipline, & Boundaries

HOD Select: Intentional Singleness

Former Porn Star now Pastor on Finding Healing and True Recovery from Pornography

Mini Man-sode 51: Just Broke Up? This Will Give You Closure

Inside The Minds Of Single Men

Never Miss an Episode

Let’s clear through the dating fog together.

Meet us on the Gram!

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The heart behind HOD

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