Yes of course, but it’s also hard because he so desperately wants to see people come to Christ. He hopes that as he’s planting seeds that one day they’ll sprout. 

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Geremy would say he’s always had the intentions and failed a lot. A great thing about dating his wife was the friends and accountability he gained. He had a friend that was really good at keeping him accountable to not having sex, not spending the night, and not being at the apartment super late, which was HUGE for Geremy. He also loved being able to confidently tell his pastor that they honestly hadn’t done ANYTHING. 

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His pastor told him that we always pray for tangible stuff but we rarely pray for the fruit of the spirit. One of the fruit being self control. Geremy never really intentionally asked for that. So every time he got to that point his self control wasn’t there. 

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Geremy tells a story of sleeping with a girl a long time ago and after her saying, “I didn’t expect a man of God to do that.” And that was very convicting to Geremy, and all he could think is that he ruined the witness for her. That interaction will taint her view of godly men in the future. 

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For sure. Before that moment what he was doing when he was sleeping around was he was trying to mask the pain of a relationship he had in the past where they both told each other they were committed to absence and then he came to find out a year later that she was sleeping around with another guy. So then that hurt, and he started putting his faith in his back pocket out in public. His salvation was always there but his holiness wasn’t. So he was trying to be very secretive because he was trying to mask the pain of what happened to him in college. 

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That’s an emotional pain and trauma that elicited coping through sexual means. 

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Geremy had the intelligence to know if a person was really walking it out. He knew a few guys who were very diligently walking out their faith. When he first got in the league he tried very hard to walk it out himself. 

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Having the humility to pray for the fruits of the spirit like self control. 

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When it comes to dabbling in cohabitating, how is this reflecting your relationship with Christ? I don’t want there to even be the perception of sin. Geremy thinks that sometimes we allow things in our lives to unintentionally become idols. Like cohabitating. 

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Matthew 19 

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Biblical and spiritual maturity knows right and wrong when the rules don’t apply. The bible doesn’t have clear rules on weed, nicotine, or dating, or sleeping in the same bed. This is where widsom comes into play. Sin ushers - things that usher you into sin. There’s uninvited temptation and invited temptation. We have to be aware that sin is lurking. 

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If you had a young man listening to this and he’s going back and forth with an addictive sin or physical boundaries or finding accountability? 

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Geremy would ask, is God really number one in your life? The second thing would be Matthew 22, where God says the first command is to love God and the second is to love people as yourself. How are you honoring and loving that girl if you’re crossing boundaries? How does your day to day reflect that Jesus is your priority? 

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Whatever thing, activity, or hobby that you love, have you ever wrestled with wondering if that’s an idol for you? 

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He wouldn’t say he questioned if it was an idol for him. However, he constantly reminds himself that the gospel is the priority. He has to make sure with his intentions, that the amount of effort he’s putting into that, he’s also putting more effort into his walk with Christ. 

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Is there a possibility that I’m using the gospel as an excuse to do this activity that I just really love? 

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Geremy says that he’s reminded of the scripture in 1 Corthinians that talks about whatever you do, do it to the glory of God. 

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Fun time and God time aren’t two seperate things. God is omnipresent, he’s all encompassing. No time is off limits to remind each other and bring the Lord into it. 

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What would your advice be to single men, as far as honoring and loving the girl before marriage? 

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Start walking a life that truly shows you want to be a godly husband one day. Allow your actions to line up with what your words are saying. 

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