Mini Man-sode 03: How To Close It Down Well

Join JJ as he gives you some guidelines to close down friendships, friendationships, first dates, relationships, and event engagements well.

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In This Episode

Data

Guidelines to Abide in to Close it Down Well

Seek First to Honor Before Expressing.

Be Clear in Your Message

Be Aware of the Disappointment

Play the Long Term

Litmus Test for if You Closed it Down Well.

Data

Average number of people we date before marraige - 30
Average number of dates - 27
Average number of rejections - 14
Average number of disaster dates - 4
Average number of stand ups - 2
Average number of relationships - 4
Average number of long term relationships - 2
Average number of long distance relationships - 1
All in all, statistically speaking, you will actually have this conversation A LOT more than you realize.

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Guidelines to Abide in to Close it Down Well

Seek first to honor before expressing
Be clear in your message
Be aware of the disappointment
Play the long term

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Seek First to Honor Before Expressing.

Sandwich method…1) Honor, appreciation of them, 2) Message, 3) Honor, appreciation of them
This is not done to soften the blow and people please, this is done to call out the good and value you believe they possess and are blessed with.

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Be Clear in Your Message

The most loving thing you can do is be clear.
Be clear.. Clarity is KINDNESS, AMBIGUITY is NOT! Ambiguity is one of the most harmful and painful experiences in dating.
Do you think you will be grey about your future wife? The mother of your kids?
If you are not ignited after months, guess what? You will never be.

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Be Aware of the Disappointment

On both sides. Be aware of yours and hers.
Hers - lead with compassion for her, lead with compassion for the pain or sadness
Yours - don’t suppress or rage, acknowledge it with Jesus and close friends.

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Play the Long Term

Could there be some awkwardness? Some emotional pain? For sure. But we play the long term game of hope and expectation to have right relationship.

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Litmus Test for if You Closed it Down Well.

Could you hold friendship? If not, there might be a problem with how you are leading
Could they date your friend or could you date their friend? If not, there might be a problem with how you are leading
Would they recommend you to a friend or vice versa? If not, there might be a problem with how you are leading

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JJ Tomlin

JJ Tomlin is a missionary kid born in Belgium, originally from Tennessee, and currently residing in the OC. He currently works in Gaming/E-Commerce, enjoys watching his Tennessee Titans on Sundays with his Goldendoodle Teddy and loves working with Christian men to raise the bar in singleness and dating.

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