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Join JJ as he talks through if someone being obsessed with their phone is a red flag and the varying levels.
Introduction
Now the premise is this: Is it a red flag if they are obsessed with their phone?
Can you evaluate if you struggle with the same thing? If you are struggling with the same thing then you can’t evaluate someone else.
Heyyyy men!! We’re back this week with another men’s minisode all about being obsessed with your phone!! Oooop we’re going there this week!
Obsessed with Their Phone
To clarify, this can mean A LOT of different things…
We’re talking about primarily consumption of your cell phone. OF ANY SORT! If this has grown to a place where it consumes and ravages your 3 free second, even spiritually, it can be too much. Realistically, I want you guys to know one thing before we start. Have you checked yourself lately? Is your phone a distraction for YOU?
Matthew 7: 3-5 “Why do you look at the speck of sawdust in your brother’s eye and pay no attention to the plank in your own eye? How can you say to your brother, ‘Let me take the speck out of your eye,’ when all the time there is a plank in your own eye? You hypocrite, first take the plank out of your own eye, and then you will see clearly to remove the speck from your brother’s eye.”
The easiest test here to figure out if you’re obsessed with your phone is these two questions…
Let’s stretch it out more….
Next time you open up a juicy notification, I am talking about a DM from your church crush, an awesome sports update from your favorite football team, a fantasy score update, a celine deion update whatever it is, try to be self-aware of the hit of dopamine when you see the notification. When you feel yourself opening your phone in the morning to a bunch of awesome texts, updates, scores, IG notifications FEEL your brain warm up it is insane!! If you do that or answer any of those questions above consistently with, I am on my phone, then honestly guess what, you are addicted to your phone!
John Mark Comer in, The Ruthless Elimination of Hurry, tell us that we have a shorter attention span than a GOLD FISH!!!! Our brains prefer a 5-15 second video and bite size content.
Like on the left side… You have unadulterated free time. You’re sitting on the couch, no agenda, in the airport waiting for the flight, about to take off, phone use in those moments, it’s fine. Even then, if there’s a frequency to 100/100 times they are on it. I’d still say there is an issue but maybe not glaring.
Then in the middle… this would probably be somewhat neutral to necessary situations. Like watching a tv show or movie, watching a game, these are mostly at home / maybe out situations, at the pool with a group. I think what changes here is that the atmosphere is still very casual, and yet there are maybe close friends, a spouse.. Right?
All the way to the right… this is like strictly should not be on, it’s rude.. it’s inappropriate. It’s when you’re using time that should be intentionally paying attention to the other person, to scroll on your phone. This is during a date, at the dinner table, in church, etc. This is a MAJOR red flag!
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JJ Tomlin is a missionary kid born in Belgium, originally from Tennessee, and currently residing in the OC. He currently works in Gaming/E-Commerce, enjoys watching his Tennessee Titans on Sundays with his Goldendoodle Teddy and loves working with Christian men to raise the bar in singleness and dating.
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