It’s really on you as the partner introducing them to your family that you prepare them for what they’re walking into. If for some reason the partner introducing you to their family doesn’t tell you, ASK QUESTIONS!! This should be some top line things, maybe it’s a dynamic you should know about or something particular about one parent. This is especially important if it is an unhealthy dynamic or person. This will also show a lot about you, if you’re able to identify those things. 

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Some good questions to ask…

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• What should I know about your family before meeting them?
• Is there anything I should not ask or mention about?
• Is there anything I should ask or mention about?
• Are there any family rules or expectations? Football, phone at the table, etc.

The first thing to figure out is if they are a SAFE, TRUSTED, person in your life. Do they contribute active wise counsel in your life? Are they on your life board of advisors? A lot of times people mistakenly put their parents, siblings, aunts, uncles, cousins, in this category when they’re NOT safe, emotionally healthy, spiritually mature, wise people. This is usually because of one scripture, Exodus, the fifth commandment, honor your mother and father. The word “honor” in this scripture doesn't mean to “obey” it actually means, “to give weight to.” It means that you should give weight to their opinion because that honors God. 

Outfits! If you have to question it, don’t wear it. Ask what would be appropriate to show up to their parents house in. 

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Serve and help! Don’t try to be mother Teresa, volunteering for every single chore, because you’re going to be trying too hard. BUT, keep in mind things that are happening, volunteer to clear dishes, help on dish duty, take out the trash, be mindful. 

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Gift ideas. Nothing too crazy here. Maybe flowers and wine or a candle. Know about the alcohol situation with the family. 

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Phones. Just try to be off of them as much as possible. 

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Be as flexible as possible.

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Be as unoffendable as possible when something is brought up. You never want to be the person who is escalating. 

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Get curious about people. Learn and absorb, try to meet most everybody and find something interesting about them. 

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Lastly, relax! You have nothing to prove. When you are around family and people you are comfortable with, do you think about how you’re coming across? No. As much as possible you want to emulate what it would be like being around the family for yourself and your partner. 

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There’s always hope to recover from a bad first meeting.