Here’s another question. . Are you ready??

Have you ever ghosted someone? Be honest y’all.

I’ll be the first to say that I am not perfect and I have ghosted a time or two in my many, many years of dating. And it usually had nothing to with the other person and everything to do with the fact that I didn’t want to face the difficult feelings of letting them down.

Can you relate?? You see the truth is, ghosting is actually pointing to a much deeper issue we have with communication and conflict on the inside. 

What should I do in a ghosting situation? 

Scenario 1: you met this person on social media or a dating app, but have never met them in real life or gone on a date. If you are talking to that person for a bit and starting to build a connection, and they disappear out of nowhere… I would urge you to NOT necessarily consider that ghosting. There’s a big chance they got busy, or you just aren’t their priority… yet. Which is OKAY in ways, because they haven’t even met you. I urge you to consider that talking to someone you’ve never met yet is the lowest-stakes operation out there. Online dating is a low-stakes operation. People are bound to get busy or just forget. I wouldn’t call them out, I’d move on. (and for this scenario, I would anticipate that this might happen a lot. If you anticipate it and know it’s nothing personal upfront, it will hold WAY less of a sting)

Scenario 2: You’ve gone on a date or a few dates with a person and then they disappear completely after the date with no communication. This is a ghosting situation and never feels great. BUT REMEMBER: Ghosting has way less to do with the person being ghosted (you) and WAY more to do with the ghoster’s maturity, kindness, and ability to communicate. If they ghosted you it's because they are afraid of a hard conversation and honesty. That is cowardly and is something they need to work on. You don’t want to be with someone like that! You want to be with someone who will be honest with you no matter how uncomfortable it is.

Ghosting is more about their maturity level and selfishness

Do you really want to be with someone who isn’t able to put aside their selfishness and communicate clearly and honestly?

If you have gone on dates with them and then got ghosted, you can say something like this: “I just wanted to let you know, I felt really curious to learn more about you after our last date. For me, I need consistent communication with the person I am interested in dating. It seems we have different communication styles and because of that, I wanted to let you know I will be moving forward. Take care.”

Overall, ghosting is well… not good. We have several resources that dive into the topic of ghosting even more like our episode "WHAT IF You've Ever Been Ghosted” with Hailey Kenyon! We even talk about it and what to do about it more in-depth in our School of Dating class. Click here to learn more!