Heart of Dating is so excited to do a SINGLE men’s panel this week!

This conversation is split into two parts- first questions FROM the dudes and then next questions from the LADIES. For this episode Kait brought on two guy friends who have incredible hearts that she knew would just be FULLY transparent, and even a bit fun… and trust us they were ALL of the above.

BC Serna is a traveler, storyteller, and mentor. He has spent the past 11 years traveling the world with non-profit organizations, helping share and tell their stories through film and awareness. He also has a heart for college and high school age students and takes them on trips to teach them about heart-led leadership and global community awareness.After working with hundreds of organizations in over 60 countries and countless amounts students and young adults BC founded a few different types of projects and programs. A few being The Traveling Good, Pursuing Purpose Podcast, and the Mentorship Mastermind.

Jarod Nickerson is an expert in Business Development and Marketing Strategy. He also has an incredible affinity for  Fitness Coaching and as we discuss in the interview he IS definitely BUFF! He loves bringing people together in community and has a constant heart’s desire to help others truly find their PURPOSE and IDENTITY. Jarod is now a mentor and together him and BC are taking over the world with their incredible Mentorship Mastermind which is an 8 week dive into your greatest life questions, struggles, fears, passions, and purpose built alongside a like-minded community of authentic individuals doing life together.

If you’re going to plan a first date, what would it be and why?

• Jarod likes practicality on a first date. Typically they are basic, casual first dates such as a “coffee walk”. Trying to make the environment comfortable.
• Bc prefers group event settings to get to know someone before taking them out on a one on one date. When he is ready for a one on one date he likes to do something fun and low-key.
• Overall, both Jarod and BC like to create an environment so it’s easy to get to know the other person in a comfortable way.

If you find a woman you’re interested in, how would you pursue her?

• Bc said he’s pretty forward when he’s interested in a girl.
• Bc also says as a single guy, he’s still working on practicing how to pursue a girl he’s interested in.
• Jarod says that before pursuing someone, he likes to know for sure he likes them by seeing them in group settings and see how they interact with others.
• Overall, if a man is interested and wants to pursue a woman, it will be made known.

How do you approach women in different settings? 

• Jarod personally does not like to approach a woman who does not know already at the gym because of the stereotype that gyms are full of “sharks”. He does not want to make a woman feel uncomfortable.
• Bc admits he’s never approached a woman and never has asked for a woman’s number out of fear of rejection.
• Jarod and BC talk about how men are often afraid of being rejected and stepping out to speak to a girl. 
• It is extremely helpful for men when girls “drop the hanky” and let a guy know they are interested in them. This encourages a man to pursue them by helping relieve their fears.
• Jarod typically likes to approach a girl with a simple compliment to ease into a conversation.
• Both Jarod and BC discuss who nerve-wrecking it is for them to approach a woman. 

How do you manage your friendships with friends of the opposite sex and help prevent “friendationships” with them?

• A friendationship is a tough place to be and a hard thing to navigate, but clear and honest communication is the solution.
• “If you’re put in a friendzone, don’t try to climb out of it” -Jarod
• Be clear upfront and follow up with friendship boundaries if grayness comes back up.
• Be careful of emotional love tank filling!
• Don’t try to fulfill an emotional need with a friendationship.

Where do you get emotional love from if you’re not getting it from a girl?

• Jarod says it first comes with yourself and loving yourself and who you are
• Most important it comes from God and identity in Him.
• Male friendships and brotherly  love are extremely important for men to embrace those feminine and masculine energies.
• BC says it comes down to the intention, and it’s important to ask yourself. “What void are you trying to fill?”
• BC talks about how desiring to be married is a great thing, but that there’s always a greater purpose in mind, so don’t become distracted by emotional needs.

What does mentorship look for men? How do you seek growth?

• Community is key.
• “You won't have a successful relationship without community”
• Community is important for accountability and helps everyone keep one another real. 
• Group settings are extremely important in a relationship and when getting to know one another. 
• Jarod talks about having a close group of men to which they meet regularly to get real and talk about what they’re going through.
• “We all need someone who will pour into us so that we can pour into other”- Jarod
• Finding a core group of mentors in essential for growth.
• BC talks about that a big problem is that we idolize relationships. Being married cannot be your end goal purpose.

Other Resources:

Follow BC on Instagram HERE

See BC's website HERE

Follow Jarod on Instagram HERE

See Jarod website HERE