SUMMER MINISODE SERIES TODAY FEATURING GARY THOMAS
In today’s episode, Kait speaks with the INSANELY wise Gary Thomas about some controversial topics like the concept of a soulmate and the dangers (slash reality) of infatuation. Gary is an incredible speaker and author of 19 books – 19, PEOPLE! Some of his books include The Sacred Marriage and The Sacred Search, and all of which provide unbelievable insight on spiritual formation. He currently lives in Houston, Texas, and is also an adjunct faculty member at Western Seminary in Portland, Oregon. He also runs marathons in his spare time! So, basically…he does it all!
Together, we talk about navigating relationships, how to be aware of infatuation within dating and how to date more wise as a Christian. This conversation was SO full of wisdom, we hope you are as inspired as we are!
THE SCIENCE OF INFATUATION
Gary talks about the science of infatuation – that’s right, there’s actual science to it! Infatuation is defined as “An intense but short-lived passion or admiration for someone or something,” which is unfortunately is a real and relatable struggle in dating. He says that, biologically speaking, there are neurological mechanics behind someone’s infatuation. Apparently, infatuation has a “shelf-life” of 12-18 months and can make us think someone is perfect marriage material when our brain is truly foggy. He also shares that infatuation can lead to something called “idealization,” which is when we give people strengths that they don’t have, or, as Gary so artfully put it, “We fall in love with a mirage rather than a person.” In many ways it is apparently more difficult to say “no” to an infatuation than it is to a sexual urge. THAT’S how strong infatuation can be!
Gary argues that, since infatuation is fleeting, starting relationships because of infatuation is pretty selfish because we are rooting our relationship in a fleeting feeling of pleasure or attraction toward another person. Since all that we value from this world fades (#RIPsixpacks) and does not contribute to a lasting and meaningful relationship or marriage, Gary encourages us to look to the one thing that actually GROWS as time goes on: the fruits of the spirit! The more we work towards the fruits of the spirit, literally, the more we will love as time goes on, because that’s how God has designed everything to work!
You can find Gary’s Website HERE
Purchase his book The Sacred Search (we could not recommend it more!)