Heart of Dating is so exciting to bring on to the show a highly requested guest to talk about a highly requested topic!
Bethany Moore is a single mom through foster care and now adoption . She had the honor of adopting her three children Franklin, Katherine, and Theodore after being their foster parent. She was a public school teacher for 4 years and then worked as a social media manager for Maple Street Biscuit Company. She is looking forward to getting back into the classroom after getting settled into her new city of Nashville, TN and to be able to continue being an advocate for foster care and adoption.
On this episode Bethany shares her struggles of dating as a single mom by choice and how she’s navigated her dating journey.
Could you tell us a little bit of your singleness journey before you had children?
- Bethany grew up in a very conservative household in which is encouraged to get married young and have a lot of children.
- She always wanted to be a mother and in her singleness, God showed her that she put marriage on this pedestal and thought her life would be complete if she had a husband.
- She learned that singleness is a gift and joy.
- You don’t have to wait until you’re married to pursue your passions.
What prompted you to want to adopt and foster as a single woman?
- She did face negative feedback from her choices since it wasn’t a traditional route.
- Bethany always wanted to have a family and she always had a heart for adoption.
- She was inspired by a young, single missionary named Katie Davis who adopted multiple children from Uganda.
- She felt that God placed it on her heart to start fostering children in her season of singleness as she was working as a school teacher.
- She become a licensed foster parent at 26
How would you encourage the listeners, specifically women, who want to be a mother but may still be single?
- Know that it is possible and don’t let fear stop you from pursuing the calling God has on your life.
- Bethany mentioned that she did keep putting it off in fear that no one would want to date her afterwards.
- She also mentioned she’s met many single men who have gone on the foster care journey.
What is it like to date as a single parent of 3 children?
- It’s been a process to become confident in this process, however she realized it just means that the guys willing to date her would look more at her heart.
- There were seasons of discouragement and insecurity about her choices and fear that she would never get married.
- God did a lot of work on her heart to remind her that she is worthy of love.
- God will ignite the right person’s heart to pursue you and the right person will not see God’s calling on your life as a burden.
As you date new people, how do you keep a positive mentality?
- “No matter what, even if I never get married, and I’m still a mom to these kids that is still such a gift in every way.”
- Being patient is worth it because you’re not only looking for a husband but a man to be a father to your kids, so you don’t want to settle.
How do you justify spending time away from your kids to date as a desire of your heart?
- It takes a lot of planning and creative dates to be able to fit dating into your lifestyle.
- Time is probably one of the hardest challenges of dating as a single parent.
- After some time and making sure the man is safe, she will actually have dates with the kids.
When do you bring up that you are a mother to 3 children to someone you’re talking to?
- Bethany said she’s upfront about it from the beginning and while she doesn’t go into too much details to protect her children, she likes to be clear from the beginning.
- She knows that not everyone is going to be ok about dating someone with three children, so she wants to be respectful of that.
- Being upfront from the beginning helps weed out the guys who dating a single parent isn’t for them.
When do you introduce the person you’re dating to your children? How do you introduce them?
- Bethany is super cautious and wants to protect her children. So she always takes it very slow.
- She will introduce him to her kids only when she can start to see a future with him.
- She chooses to introduce them in a group setting to ease the pressure for both her children and the guy.
How can someone be a great date for someone who is a single parent?
- Be considerate of time and the family dynamic. Asking them out last minute isn’t going to work out.
- You’ll have to be flexible and understanding the lifestyle of a single parent can sometimes be unpredictable.
- Be willing to take it very slow as they will be having to take their children into consideration.
- Ask them about their kids, don’t act like they’re not a major part of that person’s life.
What are the benefits of dating someone who is a single parent?
- They’re life may have a different dynamic but it is also extremely joyful.
- A single parent is nurturing, organized and planned and also typically good with boundaries.
- There are so many beautiful qualities that come out of the experience of being a single parent.
What are some red flags to look for when looking for someone as a single parent?
- If they don’t take any interest in your kids, then that’s a red flag they don’t realize their importance.
- If they take too much interest, especially in online dating, then you want to be extremely cautious as unfortunately there are many people who prey on single moms and their children.
- Safety for yourself and your children is critical to take into consideration.
- Trust your instincts as a parent.
- Look for maturity in someone else. If they party or are immature in their lifestyle, they may not be ready to be a parent in the long run in a relationship.
What is your final nugget of dating advice?
- If you say “I’ll never date a single parent”, consider why you think that way. Don’t let that keep you away from a great relationship.
Follow Bethany on Instagram HERE