What If You Attract Emotionally Unavailable People

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What If You Attract Emotionally Unavailable People

with

Kait Warman & Hailey Kenyon

Kait and Hailey talk about what an emotionally unavailable person is, their own personal patterns of dating these people, and a couple key takeaways.

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In This Episode

What is an emotionally unavailable person?

When did we realize we had a pattern of dating emotionally unavailable people and how long did it take us to figure it out?

Final Takeaways

What is an emotionally unavailable person?

Someone who is unable to meet your emotional needs in a relationship.
This can be for a variety of reasons: not in a healthy place, not able to connect to their own emotions, may be in a tough season in life.
The hard part of this is that an emotionally unavailable person is typically the person who seems mysterious or alluring, hard to get, and is the person you feel drawn to and want to date.

When did we realize we had a pattern of dating emotionally unavailable people and how long did it take us to figure it out?

Hailey: Didn’t realize this pattern until about 10 months ago. It took a long time because she didn’t realize what her emotional needs were. Found through the School of Dating that there were times when she was the one that was emotionally unavailable. Had a need for constant excitement and adventure and feel something but the emotional needs weren’t being met. She needed to be supported and seen on a deeper level. For so many years she didn’t care to have her emotional needs met and that’s why the last 10 months have been so healing figuring all of that out.
Kait: Didn’t realize a pattern of this until later in life after a toxic and abusive relationship. Usually would go for the guy every girl wanted because she had a proving energy and an enneagram 3 wanting to win. When she won them over it was hard to let go because she had the guy all the girls wanted.

Final Takeaways

Hailey: Take ownership. When you realize you have this pattern, you have to take responsibility, be humble, and get curious about why you’re pursuing that. Therapy was super helpful for digging into this.
Kait: Really figure out your top red flags. If you’ve been blinded to emotionally unavailable people in the past then take ownership of your tendencies and build out a list of your red flags you normally are attracted to, but should now be red flags. Be accountable to someone else for these red flags. Red flag for Kait: love bombing - when someone comes on really strong at the beginning of the relationship and making grand proclamations. Another red flag: a person who isn’t consistent in word and action but always has a great excuse.

Kait Warman

Kait Warman is a best-selling author, speaker, popular relationship coach, and the founder of Heart of Dating. She helps thousands of men and women on their journeys through the conversations on the Heart of Dating Podcast, which launched in 2018.

Through her ministry, Kait’s mission is to empower both men and women to have the courage to own their story, walk in victory, thrive with purpose, and discover clarity and vision in their life and relationships. In her new book, Thank You for Rejecting Me: Transform Pain into Purpose and Learn to Fight for Yourself, Kait vulnerably shares how she grew through her deepest, darkest rejections and offers readers the tools to heal from the past, take back their power, and walk in strength, victory, and love into their future. Kait currently lives in the Los Angeles area and loves sunshine, walks, Jesus, and lip syncing to Celine Dion.

Hailey Kenyon

Hailey Kenyon is a Content Creator & Communicator. She has a heart for seeing the younger generations walk out their faith boldly & love others deeply. You can follow her on instagram for daily stories and encouragement and check out her website as well!