‍

I could go on and on about the importance of mental health in dating… It’s HUGE. So, today let’s talk triggers and trauma…

So what is a trigger exactly?

When someone says they have a “trigger” it means they often are having an emotional reaction to something that most likely originated from past traumatic events and situations. When you’re triggered, it's not usually just a reaction to what is happening around you, but it’s also a reaction to something that has happened in the past that is resurfacing. A trigger does not necessarily mean acting out violently, everyone has a different reaction to their “triggers” based on situation and severity. Feeling triggered may be overwhelming and your heart may start racing. You may feel a variety of emotions such as sadness and anger. Overall, you just feel out of control and may even feel pain.

The good news is that when you become healthy and aware of your triggers, you can learn to PIVOT and necessarily act on them.

How do you know when you or someone else is triggered?

This is SO important to be aware of in relationships, especially when you know your partner has dealt with trauma in the past. When people are triggered, they usually vividly react in a way that’s out of line with what is happening. But it’s important to note it doesn’t mean they externally react! They may internalize and shut down entirely. 

Some examples of common triggers are…

• Being rejected in some way, shape, or form.
• Someone trying to leave you or even threatening to leave.
• Feeling discounted or ignored or just feeling that someone is being unavailable to you.
• Someone giving you a disapproving look or blaming or shaming you.
• Receiving criticism or feeling judged.
• When someone reacts in a way that makes you feel that they are not happy to see you.
• Someone trying to control you.

If this rings true to you and you want to learn more about triggers and trauma in dating and relationships… check out EP 157: Triggers & Trauma in a Relationship!