Relationship Anxiety

Is it just relationship anxiety OR God’s warning???

2 weeks before JJ proposed I had a sudden spike of ANXIETY and started questioning everything. After all, I do struggle with anxious attachment…

You may be wondering, why did I freak out so much 2 weeks before? Well, truth be told it’s because I had to truly face the deficits JJ had as a human (which hello WE ALL HAVE), and make PEACE with them.

Why? Well, because anxiety…😅

At the time, I was a pretty anxious person… especially in relationships. Hellooooo anxious attachment. I thought because I felt anxious that JJ just wasn’t the one for me. But that wasn’t the truth…

So what changed? And why did I say YES to someone who I was so close to breaking up with? I’ll tell you…

I had to learn that the presence of anxiety doesn't mean the relationship lacks peace.

Yes, I was anxious and had to acknowledge and validate those feelings. But at the end of the day, I had to realize that my anxiety was causing me to want to run away even though there were SO many solid signs of a healthy and peace-filled relationship.

Peace is a choice, it’s not just a thing that automatically happens in relationships.

When you have overwhelming anxiety- DO NOT MAKE ANY DECISIONS. Sit in that feeling. Process it. Work through it with a counselor even. And then, come back to TRUTH.

Skip Ahead

In This Episode

How do I combat relationship anxiety?

Relationship anxiety is REAL and more common than we like to admit. Instead of trying to run the other way every single time that something feels off, try these things:

Develop an awareness and know what your triggers are
Find ways to work through your dating anxiety and develop a space for self-awareness
Having honest and open communication with your partner will help you work through dating anxiety
Communication is key when it comes to anxiety in relationships
Discuss the dangers of assumptions

The Triangle of Peace

Flashback to the story of JJ and I… I was so close to calling it out but then I ran through the triangle of peace.

The Triangle of Peace is:

Internal peace- This is peace within yourself (and of course with the Lord)

Partner peace- This is peace with the person you are in a relationship with- are you on the same page about where you are and where you are going?

Counsel peace- This is peace with your TRUSTED counsel (FUN FACT: God speaks through the counsel of many in Proverbs (16 times!!))

In this process, I was able to shift through the anxiety, and calmly answer these 3 questions in touch with the Holy Spirit… ultimately leading me to say YES to JJ’s proposal and I am SO glad I did!

For more on this topic, check out THIS episode of the podcast, Relationship anxiety or God's warning: Should you break up? With Joy and Mathieu Rossignol!

The School of Dating

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