“It’s hard for men, in particular, to open up about harmful relationships,” JJ admitted, reflecting on the dangerous isolation that can prevent us from confiding in our friends. Kait emphasized the importance of deeper honesty in friendships, urging listeners to allow their friends permission to be truthful. In a world where superficiality often reigns, genuine connections and honest conversations can be lifesaving. These high-quality relationships serve as a mirror, reflecting the true nature of our romantic relationships and helping us recognize when we're not being treated with the respect we deserve.

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Kait pointed out that many of us lack healthy models of behavior from our upbringing. This absence often leads us to replicate destructive patterns from our past. Whether it's staying in toxic relationships out of familiarity or subconsciously seeking to resolve childhood traumas, recognizing these deep-seated influences is crucial. JJ’s insights on codependency shed light on how support can sometimes transform into a harmful attempt to save a partner, motivated by a savior complex rather than genuine compassion.

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A delicate balance must be struck in viewing ourselves with inherent worth because of Christ's sacrifice while avoiding a sense of entitlement. Kait reflected on her discomfort with the word "deserve," emphasizing that everyone should be treated well and no one deserves abuse or mistreatment. From a Christian perspective, our worthiness is not contingent upon our actions or achievements but grounded in the sacrifice of Christ. This understanding helps differentiate between high and right standards, leading us to seek partners who exemplify godliness and the fruits of the spirit.

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“Some people might not have low standards but wrong standards,” Kait highlighted, noting that physical attraction and shared superficial interests often overshadow deeper compatibility. JJ’s humorous but thought-provoking interactions further drove home the point that infatuation can cause us to ignore significant issues like addiction, making excuses for behaviors that should be deal-breakers.

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When evaluating potential partners, it's vital to prioritize character traits such as kindness, empathy, compassion, and patience over superficial attributes like humor or income. Kait’s personal anecdotes illustrated how outward appearances can be deceiving, and JJ's reflections reinforced the importance of gauging faith through the consistent evidence of the fruits of the spirit.

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Raising our standards involves a comprehensive understanding of our worth and the qualities that truly matter in a partner. It’s about moving beyond the need for validation towards a grounded, genuine appreciation of ourselves. This shift requires a network of honest, vulnerable friendships that encourage introspection and growth.

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The episode concluded with a powerful reminder from Kait and JJ: "Realize that standards need to be right, not just high or low.” The collective fruit of the spirit—an indication of true growth and character—should be our ultimate guide in setting these standards. Knowing someone over time, observing their consistency and depth, allows us to make informed, heartfelt decisions about who we let into our lives.

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Together, let’s strive to elevate our dating standards and forge relationships that reflect our true worth and the principles we hold dear.

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