How do I DTR?

Defining the relationship can be a prettyyy big deal so no, this should NOT happen over a text conversation. This should be a face-to-face convo, and if you’re in an LDR then for sure a FaceTime at least.

My biggest piece of advice when it comes to this conversation is to remember that there is power in vulnerability. Vulnerability is a very attractive quality and will assure the person you're seeing that you’re telling the truth about how you feel without needing anything in return. Clearly communicate your feelings and where you’re at WITHOUT putting any pressure on the other person to agree. In essence, hand over your heart to them and see what they do with it (I know this can be SO scary but trust me, it’s worth it to know if this relationship is going to stick or if it’s time you walk away.)

Lastly, go into the conversation without any expectations. Be confident that regardless of how it goes or how they feel, you did your part and that’s all you can do!

Ladies, if you want to DTR but feel a little scared of overstepping, you can do so without escaping your feminine energy. Here’s an example: 

“Hey I just want to let you know that I have absolutely loved getting to know you the last few months and I find you very interesting. You have a way of making me FEEL really good when we are together. I feel really SAFE around you. And for ME (notice that- peels energy off the man You are taking care of YOU it’s not about him taking care of you), I have found myself at a point where I am ready to commit to you even more. If you are not interested in doing that yet, that is totally OKAY (you honor his individuality)... But I’d love to open a discussion about this. How do you feel about this?”

Men, it should NEVER be unclear where you stand in a relationship, regardless of whether you’re exclusive or not. Be open and honest, have courage, and be overly transparent. 

When should I DTR?

DTR at its core is going from the dating stage to being in a COMMITTED relationship. You’re entering exclusive territory and you need to be 100% okay and on board with that. They are now your boyfriend and girlfriend. How exciting is that?!

But before doing so, this is when you need to take a closer look at them. This is a huge evaluation stage to decide whether you truly want to move forward with them or not. 

Here are some questions to ask yourself:

• Why do you want to be committed to this person?
• Do the people you trust back you up?
• Do you value this person?
• Do you see yourself moving forward in the future with this person?

There’s a lot that comes with DTRing, if you want more insight on this topic, check out our podcast episode, How to Define the Relationship!