• Simply not true becuase you’re getting to know someone in this way for the first time. 
• Anytime we do something for the first time we’re not typically good at it. 
• It can end up being an unspoken deal with God. 
• Take the pressure off of expecting it to be perfect. 
• If you haven’t waited for marriage, then God isn’t going to punish you by never having a good sex life. 
• Before going into marriage it’s great to talk through what you’re believing about and expecting in sex. 
• In the beginning sex will and should be awkward. 
• Amazing, great sex on your honeymoon is rare. If the first time is an amazing experience then sometimes you’re disillusioned because the times after aren’t quite as good. 

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• God wired us to serve each other. 
• There’s this underlying narrative where if a woman really enjoys sex and wants it a lot then there’s something wrong with her and that’s just not true at all. 
• The reality is that the husband and wife’s libido will probably never excatly match up. 
• It takes so much communication. 
• The narritive that it’s just for men makes women cut off their emotional skin in the game. 
• Slow down, don’t let it just be an act, let it be emotional. 
• Neither the wife or husband need to be having sex out of duty. 
• Sex in the media and porn is a problem in many ways but is a problem in the way that it reduces sex down to being an animalistic act. It takes the humanness out of it. 
• Sex isn’t a substitute for a porn addiction. 
• Women do not need to be on call for sex so the man doesn’t go back to porn. 
• Fear should never be an element in sex.