Y’all… this week we are talking all about SEX on the podcast this week. We are thrilled to have Dr. Celeste Holbrook on the podcast today.

Dr. Holbrook believes that great sex fuels a great relationship. As a faith-centered sexologist, behavior change specialist, author, and speaker with a Ph.D. in Health Education from Texas Woman’s University, her mission is to help people achieve extraordinary intimacy in their lives through planned mental and behavioral changes. She trusts that if you can create a strong, breathtaking, communicative relationship in your sex life during your most vulnerable moments, your relationship outside of the bedroom will undoubtedly follow suit.

Today, Dr. Celeste also takes a moment to answer some of our listeners’ questions such as:

How do orgasms bond us to someone? Can you have sleepovers with your significant others before marriage? Is sex drive uncontrollable?

You will not want to miss this episode! (Warning: you may blush a little bit!)

What is sex? How can Christians have a healthier view of it?

• It’s important to understand that sex is far more than typical intercourse. It’s also about intimacy, love, and connection.
• It’s important to understand what sex is as what what your sexual ethic.
• A sexual ethic is shaped by your viewpoints and upbringings, but it’s always good to evaluate how it relates to your relationship with Christ and those you have relationships with.
• Your sexual ethic should evolve and it changes the way you think about sex.

How can having a better understanding of sex actually go hand in hand with the purity culture and how has the misunderstanding of sex cause negative effects within the church?

• Our society tries to put sexuality in two extremes of the spectrum: Either explicit sexuality or an over-legalistic purity culture.
• Unfortunately, the previous conversations of purity in the church has had a negtive dialogue on sex in teaching that it “will hurt you”.
• Abstinence is not a bad thing, but abstinence without education is harmful.

What can you tell people who have never had sex and are waiting to have sex until marriage?

• Dr. Celeste tells her own story about her experience with saving sex for marriage and how not being educated properly actually caused problems in her marriage.
• Define why you’re waiting and make sure you still understand your own sexual ethic beforehand.
• Waiting is a beautiful, but learn about sex to help give you the words and dialogue. Do the work now so it can help you later.
• If you feel shame about talking about sex, then that means you need to open up a dialogue and discuss it more.

What are some resources you would recommend for our audience?

• Come as You Are by Emily Nagoski
• Pure by Linda Kay Klein
• Shameless by Nadia Bolz-Weber
• Sex, God, and the Conservative Church by Tina Schermer Sellers

What is sensuality? How can we practice this with ourselves and within dating?

• Sensuality is just the use of your senses.
• “You cannot fully sink into your senses and simultaneously worry about the future or the past.”
• In sensuality you can actually find God. 
• None of this is an emergency. Your sexuality is not an emergency, you can go super slow!
• Be honest with yourself and ask yourself why you feel certain ways. Exploration is how you learn. Do it in a safe and healthy way.
• Ask yourself “What am I learning?”

How do we save ourselves for marriage without fully suppressing our sexuality?

• Shame may come around, so learn where it comes from as this will help you set a groundwork for understanding it.
• It’s about take things very slow, getting curious about your own body, and educating yourself about sex.
• Learn about sex… from the Bible! There are beautiful sexual behaviors shown in the Bible! Song of Solomon brings a beautiful picture of sex. Look for signs of belongs, love, dialogue, and sensuality as these can all be found in the Bible.

What is your final nugget of Dating Advice?

• Address shame in your life as it can be detrimental to sexuality.

Other Resources:

Follow Dr. Holbrook on Instagram HERE

Discover more about Dr. Holbrook HERE

Book Recommendations:

Pure

Mating in Captivity

Shameless