• Our mindset: Consider this your training ground. The worst attitude as men we could ever have… “that’s her problem to deal with.” I am not saying that we take on a codepent mentality and assume a savior complex, like there is a full clear responsibility that she has to seek out healing - that is literally one of the greatest gifts and responsibilties of singlenes. However… our mindset of not touching their issues with a 10ft pole and harping on their issues.. Guess what it does.. Elevates us, gives us the spiritual and moral high ground.. Breeding ground for pride and self-righteousness. Love the picture of Jesus with the woman who was caught red handed in her mess… what did he say to the leaders? Who among you has not sinned? My mindset when I see that mess in her life -> have I never sinned? Messed up? Do i not have any trauma or triggers from my past? Do i have a perfect relational mindset? 
• Our heart posture: I think once we use our logic and reason to clear expel any superiority, this where we are called and led. If my feelings and heart posture to her is annoyed.. If i feel like she is too much.. If i feel disgusted or condescending towards her pain, trauma.. We have already lost.. Our nuclear submarine sirens should be blaring.. We have a heart issue. Our heart posture as Christian men should be deeply empathic, compassionate and seeking to understand. Jesus looked into the crowd and he was moved with compassion - what do you think he saw when he looked out? Pretty, cute, innocent children?? 

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• Have her give you specifics and then see if you are able, open, and willing to work on those things
• Great video by Brene brown called the ANATOMY of TRUST. <<<< check this out

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• Be a supporter, not a fixer 
• Be trustworthy
• Be PATIENT 
• Be vulnerable - Some folks need more reassurance in order to establish trust for various reasons, most often being that their trust has been betrayed in the past.” One thing you can do for your partner is to show them that it can be OK to open up.
• Be consistent (in love, in listening, in support - they are used to the OPPOSITE)
• Make sure you are finding SUPPORT

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