Long Distance Dating: The Basics

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Long Distance Dating: The Basics

with

Kait Warman & JJ Tomlin

We’re so excited to share with you the continuation of our very special series here at the Heart of Dating! For those of you who have been following along… We are so excited to share that our founder, Kait Warman, is now engaged! Let’s listen as Kait and JJ share how they navigated Long Distance in dating.

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In This Episode

What are some top line tips for long-distance dating?

How do you set expectations for the first in-person meet-up?

If you are the one visiting, how do you get creative and cost-efficient with your stay?

What about communication with dating long-distance?

Let’s talk about creative long-distance dates.

Moving to the same city?

What are some top line tips for long-distance dating?

Kait’s number one tip is to get in person as soon as you can, ideally within a month.
Be careful to not get emotionally naked with someone long-distance (FOR REAL)
Set expectations for your first in-person meet-up.

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How do you set expectations for the first in-person meet-up?

For females, you should clarify your feelings and needs without assuming intentions.
Do not expect too much from the other person on your first in-person date.
Whoever is visiting, remember that you are not entitled in their whole time if it doesn’t go well.
It may be uncomfortable but should you NOT be feeling it AT ALL when you get in person, do the brave thing and be honest.

“Just go in with an open mind and open heart and then just see what happens.” - JJ

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If you are the one visiting, how do you get creative and cost-efficient with your stay?

JJ stayed with his friends to save the money.
JJ also asked Kait if she had any male friends JJ could stay with during his visit
Be flexible and open.
When Kait was the one visiting JJ created an entire google doc and planned the trip.

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What about communication with dating long-distance?

Getting on the same page is the key.
Everyone has a different way of communicating.
Do not judge the other person’s communication style, instead GET CURIOUS.
You should be willing to meet the other person in the middle and vice versa.
Ask the other person about their communication style, instead of assuming they have the same as yours.
In some ways, you may have to over communicate because you don’t have in-person physical cues yet.
Make your check-ins a bit creative (video updates, photos, memes).
Keep the conversation content-oriented and descriptive. When they ask “how’s your day?”, don’t just respond with “Good, how about you?”. That’s a conversation KILLER. Instead, be more descriptive.

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Let’s talk about creative long-distance dates.

JJ created “THIS & THAT” questions to get to know Kait more, and took NOTES on her answers.
You can buy them dinner without asking for their address. (Ask to reimburse them, send it to a work address)
Send random deliveries - coffee, amazon, flowers

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Moving to the same city?

You can consider moving to the same city when you’ve moved from dating to being in a serious relationship. Key word: SERIOUS.
When you know you are moving towards the path of engagement, that’s the best time to consider this.

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Kait Warman

Kait Warman is a best-selling author, speaker, popular relationship coach, and the founder of Heart of Dating. She helps thousands of men and women on their journeys through the conversations on the Heart of Dating Podcast, which launched in 2018.

Through her ministry, Kait’s mission is to empower both men and women to have the courage to own their story, walk in victory, thrive with purpose, and discover clarity and vision in their life and relationships. In her new book, Thank You for Rejecting Me: Transform Pain into Purpose and Learn to Fight for Yourself, Kait vulnerably shares how she grew through her deepest, darkest rejections and offers readers the tools to heal from the past, take back their power, and walk in strength, victory, and love into their future. Kait currently lives in the Los Angeles area and loves sunshine, walks, Jesus, and lip syncing to Celine Dion.

JJ Tomlin

JJ Tomlin is a missionary kid born in Belgium, originally from Tennessee, and currently residing in the OC. He currently works in Gaming/E-Commerce, enjoys watching his Tennessee Titans on Sundays with his Goldendoodle Teddy and loves working with Christian men to raise the bar in singleness and dating.

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