With divorce rates near 50%, Kait asked John Mark  how we can discern that it is God’s voice telling us this person is right for us. John Mark believes we should go about a dating relationship throwing it back to a modern day version of 90's phrase WWJD, or rather, "what would Jesus do if he were YOU?". Think about this honestly. It will look different for each of us.

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The beauty and the danger of love is that we don’t see clearly so it is absolutely vital to lean and depend on our community to help us with clarity. Making big life decisions without honest feedback can lead to mistakes. Not consulting community in relationship is grounds for failure. We also need to consider Jesus, how God crafted us for relationship, and ultimately Scripture as we begin a dating relationship. If there are problems, red flags, or concerns, discuss them honestly and openly with your community rather than hiding these (or any) concerns. In that same vein, you have to willing to be honest and be prepared for the feedback you may get.

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The myth of the “soul mate” is both toxic and unhealthy. There is no perfect person for your life because that is not how life works!! Reality is MESSY!! John Mark says, "There is no perfect scenario. No perfect spouse. No one custom fit just for you. There is no perfect marriage. There is not perfect dating relationship." Although some people will be a better match for you than others, it will never be perfect in this life.

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Heyoo, let's go there! In response to Kait’s question about physical intimacy prior to marriage, John Mark shared some principles to consider: 1. Work to make this relationship as Holy as possible. As cliche as that might sound, it's true! 2. Don’t do anything that causes arousal 3. Talk about your beliefs openly and honestly and set boundaries with the counsel of your community 4. Have your community hold you to those boundaries 5. Don’t put yourselves in situations of temptation. Place yourselves in an environment where temptation goes down and accountability goes up.

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In all ways regarding boundaries, John Mark says to, "Control your sexuality, as an act of LOVE”.

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Trust is the foundation of the relationship. John Mark believes that we are only really vulnerable with people we truly trust and we can only experience deep love that transforms us when we are ruthlessly vulnerable with the other person.

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Kait asks questions about lust and masturbation and, while Scripture doesn’t speak to masturbation, it speaks often of lust. If a man masturbates without lust as purely a form a release, Scripture does not speak to that but it is difficult to have one without the other. John Mark thinks this is a very rare occurrence, as it is very difficult to seek gratification without lusting. Because the line between gratification and relief is thin, John Mark suggests a very strong warning and caution against masturbation.

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Finally, when it comes to HOW much is too much to share with your sexual past, John Mark says that being vulnerable in a relationship and discussing the sexual past of both partners, depends on the couple. Don’t drop your sexual history on the first few dates but don’t be misleading either.

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In the end, John Mark’s ultimate Top Dating Advice is Make it Holy! As cliche as that sounds, it holds us to a high standards

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