But Kait, why should I date the “boring” guy?

Because those of you with nervous systems trained for CHAOS need it! Are you the person that your nervous system is used to is distant, hard to get, charismatic, SPARKS FLYING?!

Let me ask you one question… how has that worked out for you?

When I started dating JJ there was an instant sense of peace that I could have misinterpreted for being “boring” because it wasn’t the chaotic, hot mess express that I was used to in the past. I was so used to looking for the excitement that uncertainty seemed to bring that I lost sight of what I truly desired and needed in a healthy romantic relationship. JJ helped me completely rewrite that narrative and truly made me appreciate the steadiness of a secure man who knows exactly what he wants and values what he has. 

If you find yourself seeking chaotic energy and overlooking guys who are steady and secure, your next step should probably be some self-reflection as to why you choose to cling to something that may not be the best option for you

What should you look for in the “boring” guy?

By now, you may be saying… but there aren’t any of those “boring” guys out there. But is that what you’ve truly been looking for? OR have you been looking for an instant spark or love at first sight?

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If I could encourage you of anything…

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Choose the guy who makes you feel seen, not the one who chooses to see everyone else but you.

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Choose the guy who communicates plans, not the one who hits you up last minute.

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Choose the guy who pursues you, not the one who leaves you on read.

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Remember: The boring guy does NOT mean he isn’t INTERESTING. Not at all!

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So let’s normalize choosing the “boring” guy over the instant “spark.” It’s time to give that guy you’ve been pushing aside or maybe even “friend-zoning” the chance that he deserves to make you feel safe and seen.