Heart of Dating is thrilled to welcome Alec Bevere back on the show! Alec is a speaker, filmmaker, and co-founder to the Sons & Daughters ministry and movement. He just release a major film by Messenger Studio called, The Love You’re Looking For! We COULD NOT recommend to check it out more. It’s powerful and impactful. You can see the film HERE.
Alec and his brothers Arden, Addison, and Austin all work for Messenger International, a ministry led by their parents John and Lisa Bevere. Alec and his brother Arden were here on the Heart of Dating Podcast season 2 to talk about “Going Inside the Minds of Single Men!”.
On this episode Alec gets real as he talks about a past broken engagement, extreme heartbreak and how he dealt with his pain through a revelation from God. Kait and Alec also discuss how to handle rejection and finding your identity in Christ through it
So could you share a little bit of your story on heartbreak and rejection?
- Alec shares his fun and creative story on pursuing a girl and eventually falling in love with her.
- He talked about his very public proposal and engagement to this girl.
- Overall, he shares his story on the pain he endured in this relationship and even reveals that he experienced sexual assault during it.
- Through premarital counseling, prayer, and mentorship Alec was determined to fix the relationship, however after some time it became clear that the relationship could not be saved on his strength alone.
What what your grieving process after your engagement ended? What would you recommended to men grieving?
- Alec tells the story of God restoring him in a time of pain and feeling like he failed because His relationship failed.
- “Just as much as our God is a God of might and power, He is also a God of compassion and understanding”
- Kait and Alec also discuss the topic of not having the power to change someone. It is not fully our responsibility, so we can’t blame ourselves for how they act towards us.
- Alec also touches base on forgiving the other person, “If God can forgive us of our past, then how come we can’t forgive others of their past?”
- He also talks about how he looked at his pain from a different perspective, “During this grieving process I understood not only God’s pain for us, but how pain connects us to everyone else”
- “We lead through our strengths and connect through our weaknesses”
- Alec recommends that if you’re grieving, make sure to read the scriptures! Doing this was one of the most impactful actions he took towards healing.
- While reading through the scriptures, Alec realized that all throughout history God grieved with others and He always shows up in tough times.
- Never forget the times God showed up in your life and hang on to them. You may think you know how the best way for him to show up in your life, but truly He KNOWS you and the best way to.
- “Think back to a time that God did show up in your life and remember that as an anchor so the next time you reach a point of rejection or heartbreak, you have something to stand on”
- James 1: 2-3 says, “ Dear brothers and sisters, when troubles of any kind come your way, consider it an opportunity for great joy. For you know that when your faith is tested, your endurance has a chance to grow. So let it grow, for when your endurance is fully developed, you will be perfect and complete, needing nothing.”
- Don’t wallow in your pain, but instead “pray your tears”, invite God into the sadness and pain you are feeling.
How would you recommend conquering those lies the enemy tells you after being rejected?
- Alec talks about being rejected by girls after asking them out and specifically being rejected after asking out his best friend’s sister.
- Remember that if lies build up in your mind, hold on to your identity in Christ.
- “The process may be hard, but the answer is simple: Understand who God sees you as and that will change how you see yourself as”
- Take comfort in knowing that at one point or another everyone faces rejection.
For guys who ask a girl out, and they say no, do you recommend they continue pursuing the woman?
- It all depends on the circumstances, so there’s no blanket answer.
- There will be cases where you can try again and keep working on a friendship, however there are times when it truly isn’t meant to be.
What is your final nugget of dating advice?
- Ladies: If you are interested in a guy, look at him and… Smile. There is so much power in a smile!
Find Alec on Instagram HERE
Watch the “Abandon” Video HERE
Watch the “Love You’re Looking For” Video HERE